The period following a divorce can be challenging for anyone, particularly children. Kids may yearn for a return to the status quo or rebel against changes to their lifestyles or relationships with family members, which can create difficult situations for parents, as well.
The idea that kids get to choose who they stay with and everyone winds up happy with the arrangement is pure fiction. In Alabama, judges can consider children's opinions during custody and visitation hearings if they feel that it's appropriate, but the law precludes placing the burden of these difficult decisions on the shoulders of minors.
When parents can't decide who should get primary custody of a child, they must take the matter before a judge. That way, the court can assign primary custody to one parent after the separation. In theory, judges base decisions about custody and visitation rights on the child's best interest. That said, parents should still hire a child custody attorney to fight for their rights.
The court considers many factors when determining which parent should receive primary custody, not just how the child feels about it. Additional considerations include:
Judges usually ask kids who they want to live with and why if they are of sufficient age and maturity to provide an answer, but they don't prioritize the child's wishes over other factors. The same is true during visitation hearings. Alabama family law focuses on determining what's best for the child's well-being, which usually means maintaining contact with both parents.
Few things are more frustrating for parents than going through an entire practically and emotionally challenging custody battle only to find that the child is unwilling to cooperate with the judge's ruling. Families must follow the visitation agreements handed down by judges, though, which means that custodial parents must ensure that their children arrive on time for visitations.
No one can force a child to act in any given way during a supervised visitation. Parents are responsible for getting their minor children to arrive at supervised visitations at the scheduled time to see non-custodial parents, but no one expects miracles. If the child wants to sit in a chair and stare at a corner until the required visitation period is finished, everyone can wind up feeling frustrated. However, there's nothing parents or the court can do to force certain kinds of interactions.
Parents often assume that child custody and visitation agreements are set in stone. They're not. Sometimes the decisions handed down by judges make sense in the immediate aftermath of a divorce, but they may no longer be in the child's best interest months or years later.
Custodial parents must attend to how their children feel about time spent with co-parents. If their kids are unhappy, there's usually a reason for it. Some of those reasons, like not getting along with a new partner or disliking the non-custodial parent's approach to setting up rules, are perfectly normal kinds of conflicts that can be worked out without courtroom intervention.
If a child is unhappy spending time with a non-custodial parent because of factors that impact their safety or well-being, that's a different situation. Examples of this include situations involving alcohol or drug abuse, arguments that escalate into physical violence, or a failure to provide for the child's basic needs.
The bottom line here is that if your child is refusing contact with their non-custodial parent, you should take the time to find out why. If the cause directly affects their safety, it's time to modify the visitation agreement.
There are two ways to go about modifying a visitation agreement. The first way to modify a visitation agreement is to come to a consensus about how to alter the agreement and then submit the alterations to the court. When the court agrees that the modifications are in the best interests of the child, those changes will be approved. Sometimes, a non-custodial parent doesn't want to put a child through visitations that they don't want. In those circumstances, this is a good option.
There is also a second way to modify a visitation agreement. Either the custodial or non-custodial parent can request a modification directly from the court without the agreement of the other parent. If a child's reason for refusing contact with a non-custodial parent is related to drugs, alcohol, violence, or other factors that directly impact their well-being, the court can agree to the modifications so that the custodial parent doesn't have to place their child in danger.
Minor children don't get to make decisions about them first-hand, though they usually have a say. Judges may or may not take their desires into account when handing down rulings depending on the reasons given for refusing parental visitations. However, entering adulthood brings this difficult chapter to a close. When a child turns 18, it's no longer the business of the state what kind of relationship they maintain with custodial and non-custodial parents.
In rare cases, children can achieve the rights of adulthood at the earlier age of 16 in a process called emancipation. Emancipated minors no longer receive financial support from either of their parents and cannot be forced into any kind of interaction. Kids have to achieve numerous conditions before becoming emancipated minors in Alabama.
Children who refuse parental visitations in Alabama place their custodial parents in a difficult situation. If you're dealing with this problem, the best option is to contact a family law attorney to get help with understanding your legal options. You may be able to change the visitation agreement to be more in line with your child's wishes.
